The Picciones: Decide What's Important

I read a saying the other day that said, "Your children will do what you do not what you say." Then the next day my brother posted a video on being an example. It's as if God was trying to tell me something. Go Figure. So I took that hunch and wrote down the things that Benjamin does that I would like him to stop doing. Yell, Throw, and Hit. Then I observed myself and Diego very carefully to see if we were doing these things, perhaps Benji was picking these actions or reactions up from us. Yelling is something that was occurring in my house more than I thought it was. I felt bad as a parent in that moment because while I was trying to teach and raise my child in the right direction, I came to understand that I was doing it all wrong. I was telling Benjamin not to yell, In fact time out or even a spanking was required when he did. But let's go back two steps. How was I responding to anything Benji did wrong. Like this of course, "BENJIIIIII I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! GO IN TIME OUT NOWWWWWWW!!!
Horrible, horrible, horrible! I am so ashamed. When I want Benji to do anything, for him to take me serious I thought I had to yell, and I would. Benji copied that. Although I don't throw things, I do hit. I must make it clear that I do believe in spankings as the Bible teaches us that if you spare the rod you spoil the child.(Proverbs13:24) However, I try not to spank him for things that he might not quite understand yet. I think a big problem with parents nowadays is that they start to spank their child really young, when they don't even have the capacity to understand yet the difference between right and wrong. I don't watch things like this anymore but in one stand up by Katt Williams he said, "your kid is supposed to want candy." After talking about the parents who hit their kids for asking for candy in the store. I think sometimes we think beating our children for anything and everything is good discipline. The problem is, they don't know what things are bad and what things are really bad. Something that the Pastor of South Valley Church in Lemoore, Jeff Kristenson said, and is now engraved in my heart was, if you have the same reaction to dirty socks on the floor as you do your kid coming home drunk they won't think nothing of it. You have to decide what is a big deal and what isn't. Therefore, I changed some of my reactions and tried to convince Diego to change some of his as well.
The other day I had just cleaned my ceramic floors and it hadn't even been an hour of enjoying it being clean when Benji spilt his juice. usually I would have reacted with a good yell and an "uggghhhhh" of irritation. However, I took a deep breath and told Benji that its ok. Luckily I don't have carpet and juice on tile floor is easy to clean up. I really had to look back and reevaluate what was really not that big of a deal. I hope that I can fix a few quirks in my parenting so that Benji understands what is important and what isn't, what is acceptable in our house and what isn't.
Along with my two blogs before, I am getting closer and closer to becoming the gentle, caring, and loving mom that is my goal to be for this year and for the rest of my child's(hopefully children's) life.
I also hope other mothers take my experiences and incorporate them in their own lives.

Hugs and Kisses for Everyone. Next week we're off to the Coast for vacation. Fun pictures to come!!!