Love, the real kind....

Some things have been weighing really heavy on my mind, actually... on my heart. Since I have re-found Jesus Christ he has been changing me in ways that I never thought were possible. I was a judgmental, gossiping, pathological liar who enjoyed getting drunk and smoking weed. I have no shame in saying any of that because as of now it no longer defines me. My shameful past is when I got saved and I will NEVER forget that. You usually open the door that Jesus Christ has been knocking on when you are at your worst, not because its the last resort but because after you have failed over and over and over you finally realized that there is something better than YOU. You suck, you're a failure and until you can admit that and stop being stubborn you will never understand love or patience and how to be kind to others, the things that you wish you were known for, not the car you drive.  I have found the greatest Love anyone could ever know, and I want to share that with everyone. However, I have the tendency to shove it down people's throat because I don't want you to miss out on the greatest thing this life has to offer, eternal life. Life beyond what you see, beyond that car you dream of buying or that house. Your dreams are pathetic compared to what God offers everyone, inheriting the earth. Why in the world would I want a car when I could own the earth, the pacific ocean and all its beautiful waves.
The Bible emphasizes loving one another. Its repeated over and over again and its hardest thing I have EVER done! Harder than running my 20k when I can't feel my legs or breath, harder than... ok I can't think of anything else at this specific moment but really I could put anything and everything! Its difficult. I personally like the people who say, "no I'm nice to everybody". Ya, you non-believer, you go ahead and sleep with that lie you believe. The next time you yell at someone, talk bad about someone, get angry and react in way so embarrassing that you these words I write pop up in the back of your head because deep down you have a good conscience, come ask me about God and I will welcome you with open arms.
Everything that happens around me now I think of God. Everything. Every English class, every long irritating line for the bus, and every night Benji wants to play and not sleep at 11pm when I have been up since 6. Some moments have been life changing.
One night for example, and final getting to my point, Diego and I went to buy some Ice cream. I could tell you this big long story of how it all got started and elevated so fast but all that isn't important. What's important is Diego's reaction to another irritated female costumer that was being rude and disruptive in the parlor to a worker. He defended the worker and said words that changed my life. Words of honesty. The lady called him "una mierda" and for us(English speakers) that means "a piece of shit," (pretty strong words) and Diego's response: "I AM a piece of shit, but at least I can recognized it." Now me, the little Christian girl, was quiet but also spoke and defended the worker who did nothing wrong and was being verbally attacked. I don't know if Diego remembers, but I responded with "Be nice, your anger is geared towards the wrong person." I'm not sure if she heard me over Diego's yelling but I thought telling her in a nice way was how we all should respond, with kindness. It's the first time I thought that we just have to be kind and patient and nice to everyone, otherwise the devil wins. It's the first time I really experienced a true love for Diego, a different kind of love and I'll tell you why. It was this moment that I realized that I married an opinionated neat freak, who is always right, very active, and could watch soccer everyday. A man God made for a reason. I realized that I was going to fight him and who he was for the rest of my life because that's what I was going to choose to do because I thought that's what everyone did, because it seemed natural. For us, evil is whats natural. We find ways to fight with others because God says that the battle is within ourselves and we avoid fighting who we are inside so we fight with others. I still fight with Diego, over moving my things in the kitchen and not allowing me to be messy like I am. Ya, I'm pathetic and I fight over the stupidest things. But that will all stop. I have learned and now see him through eyes filled with love. Every time he doesn't do something I wished he had done or something he should do I give him some slack because that's what I want him to give to me. I try to always give him the benefit of the doubt. If he doesn't call me or inform me, I used to choose to  get angry and say with an attitude "ughh he forgot about me." Now, Instead, I say to myself, "poor thing, he must be exhausted." I no longer have a list of things I would like him to do or how I would like him to behave. Who did I think I was? The queen of perfection? No! and I'm Not even close!
Diego is going to do work for Jesus Christ because he is convincing, strong, good with words, a hard worker and so giving. I love him, he was made perfectly. I love when girls say that there is no perfect man, its my opportunity to say, "yep you're right, but if there was, he definitely wouldn't marry you." You have to leave room for mistakes. Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder so clear out your eyes not the people around you. We all make mistakes every single day, but start to make war with those things, stop making excuses and fight to be a good person because that's what God intended.
I can't wait until Diego is a firm believer, he is going to move mountains and better people's lives one day by leading them to Jesus.
Let's start trying to see everyone as a child of God and not someone who annoyed us that day.

Go out and show that God is good, all the time!!!!

My hansome husband. I love you Diego, you and all your tidiness!!!