Step by step

Who's a slacker? This girl right here! Sorry it's been a month since I've blogged but I wrote one last week and never posted. I might post it next week, or never, who knows! Well I realized this week that my Facebook/twitter Christian friends do not seem to be any different from my non Christian Facebook or twitter friends. I want to touch on this a little because it is something I myself am guilty of, getting caught up in the drama. If you hear Nicki Minaj in an interview and think she is despicable, as a Christian, please don't keep spreading that around. Go in your room and pray for her. Be the person that when someone starts talking bad about someone you say, give her a break she struggles like you, or I like her I think she is nice. Jesus wasn't involved in gossip and you shouldn't be either. I have been focusing on one certain sin a week and little by little God is changing. Last week was gossiping and I promise I stopped talking bad about anyone an everyone, even President Obama, that's a big step! (Ok maybe I shouldn't have even said that, crap!)  The week before I tried not complaining since I have so many things to be grateful for. Week by week I will grow in my relationship with God, which also means becoming more like Jesus. How amazing! Next week I start a 6 week plan to stop picking at my face. It's really for my health class in school but its something that I truly struggle with and would like to put an end to. 

We had to read articles about the behavior we want to change. You could pick anything from intellectual, spiritual, social, or physical behavior. At first I was going to change my lying to please others, which I'll save for another blog, but I ended up choosing my picking problem. For those of you who know me, I destroy my face. I have wasted hours in front of the mirror digging at pimples, scabs, moles, or maybe even nothing. I have scarred my face as well as my self esteem. The articles I read suggested that the anxiety that triggers my picking could be due to many things from my past, the two main examples were: authoritarian parenting and substance abuse problems in the family. I don't know if this is true but one of the articles said that it is a type of self-mutilization that shows I am in control of my life and not whoever I am angry at. I don't know who I would be angry at because I had the best mother and a loving father who made mistakes but who I have forgiven 100%. I don't believe everything I read but that night, after reading the articles and trying to educate myself about the problem, guess what I did? Yep, I got down on my knees and prayed. My answer to anything and everything. I asked God to heal my heart, to take away whatever is causing me to have anxiety or whatever it is that is making me hurt myself. 

I wanted to share this because I would like to share this journey with all of you. I want to warn everyone ahead of time that I will be posting nasty pictures of the results of my picking. I hope that I inspire you to open up and ask God to help you in anything and everything. I know I will be more likely to follow through with this when he is on my side, and also when everyone is watching. Next week be prepared for horrific pictures but before that, enjoy beautiful pictures of sweet Benji! 

Until next weeks stage one, I love you all. If you're struggling come talk, my door, arms, and email(hehe) are always open.

Chau! God loves you!!!